My Life
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Posted:Oct 7, 2007 5:29 am
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2010 5:10 am
17499 Views
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Do you have a pet peeve? Well this is a major pet peeve of mine. You try to write a decent profile about yourself, display accurate photographs, and honestly let ladies know what you are seeking.
You browse profiles, write respectful emails containing something in the body of the email to allow that individual to know that you really read what she wrote, and ask something to provoke more conversation.
On the rare occasion when someone writes me back all you get is “tell me more about yourself”. How much information do you have to give out before you meet? How about a phone conversation? I know that people cam, but I am leery of that because that’s all some people want to do; play pretend and not really meet anyone. So I have written “my life story”.
Here it is.
Sometime in June of 1948 Mon and Dad planted the seed that turned into me on March 12, 1949. Both my parents were the youngest of seven . Dad had five brothers and one sister, and my Mon the same. My Mothers parents both had passed away by the time she was only two years old, and she was basically raised by her second oldest brother’s wife and her sister. I do have some small recollection of my Father’s Dad, but not much to speak of.
I had a great childhood filled with lots of memories of Aunts and Uncles, cousins, family get together, trips to the lake on Sundays, and of course all the holiday gatherings. I have one younger married sister, with two grown nephews. Growing up my dad took a second job when my sister was born (I’m eight years older than her) as an usher for all the Chicago sport teams, and I did the same when I was old enough in high school.
This is probably is one of my many faults; I am into to much sports. Going to Blackhawk hockey games consumes much of my time in the winter, but it’s a nice diversion from winter, as well as a long suffering Cubs and Bear fan. Summertime comes around and I play lots of bad golf.
My friends tell me that what they admirer most about me was the courage to leave a good job and pick and move to Sacramento, California. I had enough of what was going on in my life and just pick up and left. I had god parents living in the bay area, and friends that I grew up with living in Sac. I wanted to change my lifestyle and that is where I learned my trade as a low voltage electrician. After living there for seven years I got home sick and came back to Chicago land, which really is a great place to live, sometimes.
So there you have it, now tell me something about yourself.
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Previously seen Profiles
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Posted:Jan 21, 2009 8:28 am
Last Updated:Oct 3, 2010 11:38 am
15966 Views
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Profile #1
-------|||------- Put this on your
-------|||------- profile if you
---|||||||||||--- know someone that
-------|||------- died of old age
-------|||------- looking for their
-------|||------- perfect match
-------|||------- on a dating site
Honestly, I borrowed that from someone profile, it made me smile.
Single, Never Married physically fit sixty-one year old male.
I. Talk about my hobbies.
A. I enjoy physical activities.
1. Working out. I workout every day, doing weight lifting, cardiovascular, and
fitness classes to help fight off old age.
2. Golf
3. Cooking
4. Weekend get-a-ways
5. If I divulge too much information here, what would we have to talk about?
2. Talk about goals/aspirations.
A. Staying alive
1. Someone with common interest; knows which one of hers interest that she
would want to introduce to me.
3. Talk about myself and what makes me unique.
A. All woman want to travel.
1. I'm from Mars.
4. My taste in music.
A. I listen to all kind of music.
1. If that's the deal breaker. Past me by.
5. Haves and what I don't have.
A. Have.
1. An open mind
2. No
3. Cat
4. Live in a condo
5. The desire to meet a woman with similar interest
6. All my teeth
7. Good hygiene
8. Two left feet
9. Car
B. Don't have
1. A lake house
2. A boat
3. A motorcycle
4. A fireplace
5. Fishing poles
6. Patients
6. Summary of above
A. What I want
1. No endless emails, especially ones saying "tell me more about yourself"
from women who say nothing about themselves.
2. After a few emails, and a phone conversation or two, meet.
3. If that is not possible, than I guess I'm not the one.
4. Not wanting to meet any woman that has this phase in their profile.
life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
that takes our breath away!"
5. See number three about being unique.
6. I guess I need to explain #'s 4 and 5.
7. Women are looking for intimate encounters
It's not that I disagree with the sentiment of # 4, but I've read soooooo many profiles that contains that phase that I guess I have become somewhat jaded. Sorry, just letting my true feeling out into the universe.
I know that some will review this profile and think that I am just a crabby old man, well maybe the old part, but I'm not really. I am a fun loving laid back guy trying to live by the golden rule. I write run-on sentences and end them with prepositions.
One more thing. It is very much appreciated when some women takes the time to reply letting you know that they have met someone (that one confuses me a bit, why would you still be on a dating website) or just not interested.
Thanks for lQQking at my profile.
p.s. why do people put pictures side ways?
p.p.s. why do people view your profile and than if you
write they write you back and ask for yahoo or msm IM ID when it's on your profile
Number #2
I love woman of all ages. I�m very active, as I workout four or five times a week to keep fit and would hope that you do as well. I know that I suffer from delusion of grandeur, but can you blame a guy for trying? Good luck to you, and if you care to take a chance on a fifty + male, keep me in your thoughts.
I am a pretty laid back guy. As I said love to workout, weights, and or treadmill/elliptical. Love sports, to watch and participate, golf, biking, walking. Wanna play cards? Backgammon? How about strip checkers? Naked twister?
Let's get to know each other over coffee, or maybe a glass of wine.
White male, fifty-nine, single, never married, nor am I attached, or in a cheating relationship. Five feet eight inches tall, and weight one hundred eighty-eight pounds, average to athletic body type, with thinning more salt than pepper hair.
My Ideal Person:
I truly want a woman who wants to be pampered. What can I say, I love cuddling, intimacy, kissing, touching; just a old fashion romantic at heart. Not afraid of public displays of affection. Not interested in one night stands;more on the lines of repeated stands, with the same woman. Someone who knows what she wants, and is not afraid to ask. Life is to short, lets have some fun.
Number #3
Many friends believe that incarceration in a mental institution would be in order for such actions,(internet dating) but there is an aura of excitement. I have tried many forms of introduction, among them being honest and using humor.
Where does one meet? Friends gather at bars is one thing, but not necessarily to meet perspective lovers, unless that is the chosen meeting place for a date. Friends setting up blind dates, please! There is a bad joke associated with blind dates, which we will allow to pass.
Although Internet dating has pit falls, people not being whom they say are, the integrity of the web site, and Internet Spam, it does provide an avenue for people to meet. Here is the part when I am required to talk about myself. Physical fitness is of real high importance on the list, doing activities like golfing, bike riding, or any physical activity.
Do you want to cook a meal, see a movie or play, comedy clubs, I will go to the mall with you; hold your packages, maybe. Honesty, compassion, and treating others the way you would want to be treated. Wait isn't that the golden rule.
Knowing that profiles with photos receive more notice, the reason for not having one is simply not being photogenic. Like listening to a recording of people you know, everyone sounds like himself or herself except yourself. Do you know what I mean?
Much better live and in person than on tape. Photos are available upon request, and come with a money back guarantee. Maybe we could talk online sometime, exchange email address, or files right during our chat. Oh, one more thing, physical stats, five feet eight inches tall, and I weight one hundred eighty-five pounds, with thinning salt & pepper hair.
Number #4
Thank you for taking a look at my profile. I am 57, 5�8�, 185 lbs. and in excellent physical condition. I have been a member of this site since 2003, and although I have never met any one, or have became involved in a relationship, I have met some very nice people thru a group here that I am active in.
We interrupt this profile to bring you this �Special Bulletin �. Be very leery of this individual's claims of spontaneity, offering gifts of weekend getaways, romantic candlelight dinners, and sensual hot oil massages.
He will attempt to lour you to his residence for those sensual hot oil massages in front of his fireplace. He has no house with a fireplace. He will show you his �gentle side�, buy offering to go shopping with at the mall, hold your packages while you shop away. What he will do is excuse himself, and find a bar in the mall, drink beer and watch football.
Last seen on Chicago�s magnificent mile, Michigan Avenue, hanging around in the jewelry department at Macy�s wearing a black shirt, jeans, and a black leather jacket.
We now return to your regularly scheduled profile.
Would love to meet you for coffee, or perhaps a drink, to see if there might be some chemistry, and I hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks,
Ceedee
Number #5
I guess I have a real unrealistic view on life. Why are there (or is it their) all these internet dating sites. I, for one, would want to think it is a way to cut through all the bull shit associated with trying to meet someone. How the hell do you meet any one to date? You can�t even hang out in fresh markets (I think they have closed all the Dominick stores) to meet someone in the produce department. No more smelling melons and asking women �how do you really tell if this one is good�, or dropping your clothes off at the dry cleaners, since they invented that stuff to use in your drier.
You can go to loud, smoke filled bars, and try and have a conversation. I am sure your married friends have numerous single women that are just a perfect match. If you go ahead and take the plunge into signing up for these dating web sites, what do you know about them? So you pay your money, try corresponding, and than Dr. Phil ask if you want some help. I don�t think so. So, is anyone interested in dating, and having some adult fun? If you are interested in physical fitness, weight lifting and cardiovascular activities, bicycling, golf, going to beach; not into sailing (unless you have a boat and want to teach me), or whatever, contact me.
I am 58, 5�8�, 188, with thinning salt and pepper hair, and in good physical condition.
Also, if being somewhat outspoken and brutally honest is not what you seek, maybe we won�t click. One more thing, unless you have a fairly recent clear photo to share, chances are won�t meet. It�s only fair, you can see me, and I would need to see you.
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Ford Acquisition
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Posted:Dec 26, 2011 4:19 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 1:17 am
14478 Views
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Ford has announced plans to acquire French automaker Renault and engineering teams have already joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.
Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus,' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.
Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.
This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it as needed.
Most Drivers will lease for two years and trade for a new one…
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Happy Holidays
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Posted:Dec 21, 2011 3:12 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 1:17 am
14427 Views
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 For the holidays I thought I give myself the pleasure of trying to get laid. At least I'll get three months free, right?  I think I've tried this before.
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From Cambridge University
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Posted:Dec 29, 2010 3:18 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 1:17 am
14700 Views
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Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed tihs psas it on !!
I thought I could read it cuz I am cixelsyd!
Merry Nude Year.
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Ladys get noticed!
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Posted:Dec 16, 2010 5:56 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2012 6:06 am
14902 Views
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Tired of no one noticing you??
Are you sick of being ignored? Do you sit unnoticed
on the sidelines while others are picked?
Are you tired of being overlooked?
Get a new scarf ! !
Try the latest scarf fashion and you too will be the center of attention..
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King Arthur and the Witch
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Posted:Dec 13, 2010 3:21 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 1:17 am
14756 Views
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Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below.
BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below.
OKAY?
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down
The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly!!
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Subject: Next Attack Will Be Different - Good Advice
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Posted:Nov 23, 2010 4:18 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 1:17 am
14896 Views
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Not a bit alarmist... you should get your act together.
Remember how and what we thought about that day as 9-11 unfolded?
Some of you have international links, many have connections across the US.
WE ARE NOT INSULATED FROM BAD INCIDENTS..
The Next Attack Will Be Different - Good Advice
Israel is realistic and US is foolish!!
Advice from an Israeli Agent
Juval Aviv was the Israeli Agent upon whom the movie ' Munich ' was based. He was Golda Meir's bodyguard, and she appointed him to track down and bring to justice the Palestinian terrorists who took the Israeli athletes hostage and killed them during the Munich Olympic Games.
In a lecture in New York City he shared information that EVERY American needs to know -- but that our government has not yet shared with us.
He predicted the London subway bombing on the Bill O'Reilly show on Fox News stating publicly that it would happen within a week. At the time, O'Reilly laughed, and mocked him saying that in a week he wanted him back on the show. Unfortunately, within a week the terrorist attack had occurred.
Juval Aviv gave intelligence (via what he had gathered in Israel and the Middle East ) to the Bush Administration about 9/11, a month before it occurred. His report specifically said they would use planes as bombs and target high profile buildings and monuments. Congress has since hired him as a security consultant.
Now for his future predictions. He predicts the next terrorist attack on the U.S. Will occur within the next few months.
Forget hijacking airplanes, because he says terrorists will NEVER try and hijack a plane again as they know the people onboard will never go down quietly again. Aviv believes our airport security is a joke -- that we have been reactionary rather than proactive in developing strategies that are truly effective.
For example:
1) Our airport technology is outdated. We look for metal, and the new explosives are made of plastic.
2) He talked about how some idiot tried to light his shoe on fire. Because of that, now everyone has to take off their shoes. A group of idiots tried to bring aboard liquid explosives. Now we can't bring liquids on board. He says he's waiting for some suicidal maniac to pour liquid explosive on his underwear; at which point, security will have us all traveling naked!
Every strategy we have is reactionary.
3) We only focus on security when people are heading to the gates.
Aviv says that if a terrorist attack targets airports in the future, they will target busy times on the front end of the airport when/where people are checking in. It would be easy for someone to take two suitcases of explosives, walk up to a busy check-in line, ask a person next to them to watch their bags for a minute while they run to the restroom or get a drink, and then detonate the bags BEFORE security even gets involved. In Israel, security checks bags BEFORE people can even ENTER the airport.
Aviv says the next terrorist attack here in America is imminent and will involve suicide bombers and non-suicide bombers in places where large groups of people congregate. (I.e., Disneyland, Las Vegas casinos, big cities (New York, San Francisco, Chicago, etc.) and that it will also include shopping malls, subways in rush hour, train stations, etc., as well as, rural America this time. The interlands
( Wyoming , Montana , etc.).
The attack will be characterized by simultaneous detonations around the country (terrorists like big impact), involving at least 5-8 cities, including rural areas.
Aviv says terrorists won't need to use suicide bombers in many of the larger cities, because at places like the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, they can simply valet park a car loaded with explosives and walk away.
Aviv says all of the above is well known in intelligence circles, but that our U. S. Government does not want to 'alarm American citizens' with the facts. The world is quickly going to become 'a different place', and issues like 'global warming' and political correctness will become totally irrelevant.
On an encouraging note, he says that Americans don't have to be concerned about being nuked. Aviv says the terrorists who want to destroy America will not use sophisticated weapons. They like to use suicide as a front-line approach. It's cheap, it's easy, it's effective; and they have an infinite abundance of young militants more than willing to 'meet their destiny'.
He also says the next level of terrorists, over which America should be most concerned, will not be coming from abroad. But will be, instead, 'homegrown', having attended and been educated in our own schools and universities right here in the U.S. He says to look for 'students' who frequently travel back and forth to the Middle East . These young terrorists will be most dangerous because they will know our language and will fully understand the habits of Americans; but that we Americans won't know/understand a thing about them.
Aviv says that, as a people, Americans are unaware and uneducated about the terrorist threats we will inevitably face. America still has only a handful of Arabic and Farsi speaking people in our intelligence networks, and Aviv says it is critical that we change that fact SOON.
So, what can America do to protect itself? From an intelligence perspective, Aviv says the U.S. needs to stop relying on satellites and technology for intelligence. We need to, instead, follow Israel 's, Ireland 's and England 's hands-on examples of human intelligence, both from an infiltration perspective as well as to pay attention to, and trust 'aware' citizens to help. We need to engage and educate ourselves as citizens; however, our U. S. government continues to treat us, its citizens, 'like babies'. Our government thinks we 'can't handle the truth' and are concerned that we'll panic if we understand the realities of terrorism. Aviv says this is a deadly mistake.
Aviv recently created/executed a security test for our Congress, by placing an empty briefcase in five well-traveled spots in five major cities. The results? Not one person called 911 or sought a policeman to check it out. In fact, in Chicago, someone tried to steal the briefcase!
In comparison, Aviv says that citizens of Israel are so well 'trained' that an unattended bag or package would be reported in seconds by citizen(s) who know to publicly shout, 'Unattended Bag!' The area would be quickly & calmly cleared by the citizens themselves.
Unfortunately, America hasn't been yet 'hurt enough' by terrorism for their government to fully understand the need to educate its citizens or for the government to understand that it's their citizens who are, inevitably, the best first-line of defense against terrorism.
Aviv also was concerned about the high number of here in America who were in preschool and kindergarten after 9/11, who were 'lost' without parents being able to pick them up, and about our schools that had no plan in place to best care for the students until parents could get there. (In New York City , this was days, in some cases!)
He stresses the importance of having a plan, that's agreed upon within your family, of how to respond in the event of a terrorist emergency. He urges parents to contact their 's schools and demand that the schools too, develop plans of actions, just as they do in Israel.
Does your family know what to do if you can't contact one another by phone? Where would you gather in an emergency? He says we should all have a plan that is easy enough for even our youngest to remember and follow.
Aviv says that the U. S. government has in force a plan, that in the event of another terrorist attack, EVERYONE's ability to use cell phones, blackberries, etc., will immediately be cut-off, as this is the preferred communication source used by terrorists and is often the way that their bombs are detonated.
How will you communicate with your loved ones in the event you cannot speak to each other? You need to have a plan.
If you understand, and believe what you have just read, then you must feel compelled to send this to every concerned parent, guardian, grandparents, uncles, aunts, whomever. Don't stop there. In addition to sharing this via e-mail, contact and discuss this information with whomever it makes sense to. Make contingency plans with those you care about. Better that you have plans in place, and never have to use them, then to have no plans in place, and find you needed them.
So what do you think? Do you believe this?
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What a great tool I just found at Home Depot
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Posted:Nov 23, 2010 3:43 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 1:17 am
14823 Views
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I just bought this new gauge from Home Depot. It takes a while to learn all the settings but I'm pretty handy, and was patient, so I figured it out eventually..
You know for sure with this gauge, there is no more guessing!
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A Woman's perfect breakfast
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Posted:Nov 21, 2010 9:43 am
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2010 4:15 pm
15882 Views
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She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Happy Sunday
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Monday Humor
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Posted:Nov 15, 2010 10:54 am
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2010 10:55 am
14853 Views
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Happy Monday all.
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I bet you need new glasses
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Posted:Nov 12, 2010 5:05 am
Last Updated:Nov 14, 2010 4:56 am
15679 Views
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Do you need glasses??
Look carefully at the picture below.
Did you see the bare butt of the girl in the background???
If you did see that in the picture,
you need to have your eyes checked...
as that is the armpit of the girl holding the camera.
........ I’ve made your appointment, it’s is at 2pm tomorrow!
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To link to this blog (wanttopamperyou2) use [blog wanttopamperyou2] in your messages.
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